Out of Interruptions Come the Best Lessons

A mother's life is full of interruptions!!!!!!  One day, I timed what was the longest time I could go without having an interruption from one of my children.  I timed for an entire workday, eight hours, that is, and the longest we made it between interruptions was three minutes.

Yesterday, I was watching a talk from Mark Lowry, Christian singer and member of the Gaither Vocal Band, humorist, and the Dinner With.... YouTuber, and he made a point I never thought about.  His talk was about interruptions.

He said that the best lesson's that Jesus taught were when he was being interrupted.  For example, he talks about when Jesus was teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum.  The room is so full that people outside that want to hear his preaching can not come in.  A man who is paralyzed wants to be healed and so some men make a hole in the roof and lower him down to Jesus.

Jesus then talks to the man, heals him, and forgives him of his sins.

The scripture does not tell us the content of the doctrine being preached in the synagogue.  What the scriptural record teaches us about the power of the interruption, how Jesus dealt with the interruption, and what lessons he taught us by his example through this interruption.

Jesus was intensely teaching. He had a large audience. Many people were waiting out the door straining to hear his message. Yet, he did not rebuke those who interrupted him by breaking in and lowering a paralyzed man down obtain healing.

In that interruption, Jesus taught that the person in front of him was the most important person.  He taught us to be calm during interruptions and miracles will happen.  He taught us that the man who was paralyzed was not paralyzed due to sin, although that was the belief of the day.  He showed us how to treat everyone of the interruptions we get from other family members, and especially our children, as an opportunity to teach love and show them their importance to us.  The greatest lessons taught that day was not in his words, but his actions.

He also taught us this lesson when the woman who had an issue for twelve years touched his garment for healing.  This was another interruption, as was the interruption he received when he was requested to visit and bring Jairus' daughter back to life.

Even the very pronouncement of Jesus' conception and birth to Mary was an interruption.

Could interruptions from our children be our greatest moments in life, our greatest opportunities from showing what they mean to us, for healing, for bonding, for miracles?  Perhaps, how we respond to an interruption is our greatest work in this life, an opportunity to have the greatest impact on generations to come.  I believe they are.

Protecting Your Children from Sexual Child Abuse

This photo was taken by Wade Harris downloaded form Flickr Creative Commons
Each pinwheel represents a child abused in Tulsa, OK. Many communities are placing pinwheels to represent each child abused in their communities as a reminder of it's horrible reach, and to remind us to do what we can to prevent child abuse.

Although this topic is heavy, a newspaper article put it on my mind today. So here I write:

Just because your kids are in places that you think they are safe, predators position themselves to be in those places and build the trust of others and you, in order to gain access to your children.  That's why you will hear stories of sexual abuse coming out of organizations that should be reputable, like the Boy Scouts, many churches, schools, and even doctor's offices.

Unfortunately, this topic has personally touched my life, and maybe it has yours too because pursuing children is a secret work, not talked about enough.

Protecting your children is, in my opinion, one of the most important works of the Ultimate Homemaker and there are many things you can do to help keep them safe:

1.  Look out for adults and older teens that are touchy-feely and do things like rub shoulders or invite children to sit on their laps.
2.  If anything an adult is doing creeps your or child out, create distance and keep an eye out.
3.  Adults who take on a buddy-buddy role with children, i.e. offers to take them out to do things alone like go for a burger, fishing, to the mall, writes letters, texts,  IM's or e-mails to them, that's a red flag.
4. Predators may be extra friendly to you and your family. If it feels weird, it's probably a problem.
5. Predators may use "God's wishes" to talk about inappropriate topics, for instance a church leader goes into detail to talk about masturbation to a child in the name of God's disgust, red flag! If it can't be talked about with another adult present, it shouldn't be talked about in private with your child.
6. Predators parentify or adultify children, talking to them too freely about things that are not age appropriate in order to make the child feel like they are more grown up than they are.
7. Always insist on two-deep leadership.  Never let an adult, even a friend, a teacher, or scout leader take your child out on their own.
8.  Educate your child to never let anyone touch their private parts, and you can tell them if Grandpa or Doctor So and So did anything that made you feel icky to say something.
9.  Tell your children that when an adult tells them not to tell, that's means they need to tell.
10.  Teach your children that you are a safe place, that you will never let that person's threats come to pass.

This is just a very brief write-up on this topic.  I know what it feels like to be abused, and I also know what it is like to raise seven children who have not been abused.  So I hope that this perspective will help you to navigate your children safely to adulthood.  I'm sure I will write more on this topic in greater detail in the future, but I just wanted to get this out there to maybe help at least one family through this as soon as possible.



   

The Messy Kitchen - Just Take a Section and Clean It

My very "scientific" method of kitchen cleaning is approached this way.  Find the least messy/cluttered spot, and clean it.

A lot of times, I am doing something else that I much rather do, like writing this blog, than cleaning the kitchen.  So, I do my cleaning in bits, with time built into what I want to do in between those bits.

Today, I'm going to actually do this.  So right now I'm blogging, and having a good time, but you saw my messy kitchen, and it needs attention, so I'm going to go clean one section, set the timer for 20 minutes because I'm going to want to get back to this blog after I clean that section, and then when the timer goes off, I'll clean the next section.

It doesn't matter where you start, whether it's the dishes, taking out the trash, cleaning off the table, or cleaning one section of the counter top, just start somewhere.  I 100% guarantee you that your kitchen will already look better and you will feel better after taking care of that one first thing that you have chosen.

Today I'm going to start with the section right next to the refrigerator.  Here's the before picture:

And the after:

Now if you want you can set the timer for 20 minutes and go do something else, something else you have to get done, like call the credit bureau, which I have to do now to cancel a membership they charged me for that I didn't want, or play on Facebook for a while, and when the buzzer rings, come back to do the next section.

Next section before picture:

And this section took me only 1 1/2 minutes:  Here's the after:

I had to take another picture of the after of this second section because I couldn't find the original file.  The fail is you see that you see the after of the next section too! LOL!

Now onto the center countertop.  Here is the before:

And the after:

So far we have spent eight minutes cleaning the kitchen.  In this section, I also vacuumed the floor because it was screaming at me at the moment.  You could say, "Well, I'll keep the floor for last, but there is not system to this "clean by section" approach.  If something is screaming at you, why not take care of it while it's there?

Next is the messiest part of the kitchen, the area around the sink.  Here is the before:

And the after:

I wanted to take my time on this section to give the reader a realistic timing of this because interruptions are inevitable, and that's exactly what I had interruptions.  I had a really nice conversation with my 19 year-old son, who will be "flying the nest" soon, and my 11 year-old decided he wanted to use my faucet to wash his hands while I was doing the dishes.  All in, it took 13 minutes to clean up this area which included carrying the trash out to the trash can in the garage.

The entire kitchen took 21 minutes.  That's not bad at all!

So, now we have illustrated that a large kitchen like mine can be cleaned in several sections totaling up to 21 minutes, and if you are having a busy day, and don't have a chunk of 21 minutes together, you can take a 1 minute section here before heading off to the cross-country meet, or dance lesson, and another 2 minute chunk just after lunch, and another 13 minute chunk before bedtime, and by the next morning, before breakfast, you know that you had a clean kitchen for some hours in the middle of the night and that your kitchen got cleaned everyday.

You also know that if you have decluttered your kitchen and your Aunt Jane calls and says she's coming for unexpected visit, you can have the kitchen cleaned in 21 minutes of non-hurried, relaxed cleaning time.

The key is to minimize what items you are storing in your kitchen so that you can easily put them away, don't have to many extra dishes on hand, so they don't pile excessively high in the sink, and take one section at a time.

Okay, enough said.  Here is the before and after pictures of the entire kitchen and guess what? A friend just called and asked if she could come over and now my kitchen is clean and I have no worries!!  Who would have guessed?

The Messy Kitchen - Why It Doesn't Overwhelm Me Now

I have been cleaning up messy kitchens everyday for over 32 years.  For many years, the messy kitchen would overwhelm me.  But, after 32 years, it doesn't, and you want to know why?

Because I have developed a mindset and it seems to be working.  That mindset is to remember:

1.  My family wasn't out to get me when they messed up my kitchen.
2.  Most of the mess in the kitchen, I made.
3.  A decluttered kitchen is much easier to clean - and mine is.
4.  Just take a section.

I have operated in the land of narcissism for many years, where, in my delusion, I thought that my family members were insensitive and selfish, and I blamed them for the messy kitchen.  One day my wise teenage son said, "Mom, instead of using passive aggressive comments to tell us how mad you are about the messy kitchen, why not just ask us clearly to do what you want?, 'Jeffrey, please take out the trash!' We'll be happy to do it, just ask us."

I started taking his advice about six years ago, and it has made a huge difference in the way I have felt about my family.  They have been willing to help out when I respectfully ask, and the feeling to blame has lessened a lot.

On item #2, like I said in my last post, an honest assessment of the mess in the kitchen has led me to the painful realization that 75% of the mess in the kitchen I can blame on myself.  Not that I'm mad at myself, I mean, I'm a busy person, and sometimes it's all about making breakfast and getting out the door without time to tidy up.  Simple as that.  We're human right?

Regarding #3, I have learned from staying at timeshares on vacation that if we keep our meals simple and I don't take to being Mrs. Gourmet Cook, which I don't have time to be, then I only need just about the same simple supplies that is needed in a vacation home.  Since realizing that, maybe in the last five years, I have decluttered my cabinets to where I can easily see what is in them, and there is plenty of space in them to only be about 50% to 60% in use.  That makes for less things making its way out into plain sight, and makes for easy putting away of things.  My kitchen takes half the time to clean up now!

To achieve this decluttering, obviously, I got rid of a lot of stuff that I really didn't need, but I also put pantry items that I don't use everyday in regular cabinets lower to the floor where I don't like to bend over, making room for my everyday items in my pantry.  See how much space is in between each object, and how the heaviest items are at bisep heighth, so I don't have to strain to take it out and put it away? 

Item number 4, Just take a section, it really goes without saying but I will cover it in more detail in my next post, The Messy Kitchen - Just Take a Section.

The Messy Kitchen

This would not be the ultimate homemaking blog if we didn't talk about messy kitchens.  

Here's mine:

I didn't leave my kitchen messy on purpose for this blog.  This messy kitchen inspired the post.  This is what a real kitchen looks like, my friends.  It gets cleaned up spic and span about three days a week, and despite any efforts to have it spic and span the night before, it always looks like this after breakfast, and you know what?   I could blame this mess on my family, but lately, I've been taking a deep look at whose been leaving the stuff out, and lately I realized the culprit was me!!!!!!!

But that's okay, because whose going to clean it up?  Me?

I just have to remember not to get mad at the family for the mess that I left out. 

This messy kitchen doesn't overwhelm me and in the next post I will tell you why.

It Takes Heap O' Livin' To Make a House a Home

When I think of my favorite homemakers, I think of women from my church who I knew when I was growing up in the 1970s.  Granted during the 70s, homemaking was championed as one of the greatest professions a woman could do, and perfection in homemaking was often sought.  But, the women I looked up to were not perfectionists, they were good humored, able to laugh at themselves, and they were kind.

On of my favorites was Flora Amussen Benson, wife of the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Here's a picture of her with President Benson:

One day, I was at a conference where Flora Benson and her husband, Ezra were speaking.  I was in the choir and sat right behind her.  She was about 15 feet in front of me and she talked about the joys of raising a family.

Particularly, I was amused as she recited the poem by Edgar Guest, Home.  Some of you might know this poem with the unofficial title, "Heap O' Livin'".  Notice in the poem, there is very little said about how the home should look, and it's more about the activities that bring memories.

Here is goes:

Home

BY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST

It takes a heap o’ livin’ in a house t’ make it home, 

A heap o’ sun an’ shadder, an’ ye sometimes have t’ roam 

Afore ye really ’preciate the things ye lef’ behind, 

An’ hunger fer ’em somehow, with ’em allus on yer mind. 

It don’t make any differunce how rich ye get t’ be, 

How much yer chairs an’ tables cost, how great yer luxury; 

It ain’t home t’ ye, though it be the palace of a king, 

Until somehow yer soul is sort o’ wrapped round everything. 

Home ain’t a place that gold can buy or get up in a minute; 

Afore it’s home there’s got t’ be a heap o’ livin’ in it; 

Within the walls there’s got t’ be some babies born, and then 

Right there ye’ve got t’ bring ‘em up t’ women good, an’ men; 

And gradjerly, as time goes on, ye find ye wouldn’t part 

With anything they ever used—they’ve grown into yer heart: 

The old high chairs, the playthings, too, the little shoes they wore 

Ye hoard; an’ if ye could ye’d keep the thumbmarks on the door. 

Ye’ve got t’ weep t’ make it home, ye’ve got t’ sit an’ sigh 

An’ watch beside a loved one’s bed, an’ know that Death is nigh; 

An’ in the stillness o’ the night t’ see Death’s angel come, 

An’ close the eyes o’ her that smiled, an’ leave her sweet voice dumb. 

Fer these are scenes that grip the heart, an’ when yer tears are dried, 

Ye find the home is dearer than it was, an’ sanctified; 

An’ tuggin’ at ye always are the pleasant memories 

O’ her that was an’ is no more—ye can’t escape from these. 

Ye’ve got t’ sing an’ dance fer years, ye’ve got t’ romp an’ play, 

An’ learn t’ love the things ye have by usin’ ’em each day; 

Even the roses ’round the porch must blossom year by year 

Afore they ’come a part o’ ye, suggestin’ someone dear 

Who used t’ love ’em long ago, an’ trained ’em jes’ t’ run 

The way they do, so’s they would get the early mornin’ sun; 

Ye’ve got t’ love each brick an’ stone from cellar up t’ dome: 

It takes a heap o’ livin’ in a house t’ make it home.

What This Blog Covers

This blog is intended to be a place for you to stop over to for a few minutes each day when you need to decompress.  It's not intended to make you feel overwhelmed, like you aren't good enough, or your aren't doing good enough.

Yes, it will be full of ideas and tips, but also quotes, scriptures, happy thoughts, funny stories, jokes, anything I can find to inspire you, lift you up, and give you a small break from your worries.

Because homemakers are "Jills of All Trades, and Masters of None", or "Jacks of All Trades", for the stay at home dads, I'll be presenting the many ideas I have gleaned from others to make homemaking easier, but I'll also be sharing my limitations.

The topics this blog will present are: childbirth, breastfeeding and other baby care topics, post-partum depression, dealing with colic, co-sleeping, child development, homeschooling, unschooling, child nutrition, allergen free cooking, including gluten-free and dairy free cooking, heart healthy cooking, frugal living, budgeting and family finances, buying your first home, minimalism, self-reliance and food storage, family spiritual development, gardening, including hydroponics and patio gardening, do-it-yourself (DIY) projects, and home repairs, thriving with mental illness, and the mental illness of others, child abuse protection, healing from child abuse, family vacations preparation, and a slew of other topics that happen to come to my mind.

Keep in mind, that most humans can only handle doing three things in their lives really well, and the other things that we do, manifest in a mediocre way.  The ultimate homemaker realizes this, and although we'll be covering a lot of topics, please remember that I don't do any of the above really well all of the time.  Each things takes it's turn, and the top three priorities is what I do well at.

Afterall, we are mortal, and we only have 24 hours in a day.